Sunsets

and a mean message to one cloud

Today’s sunset in St. Lucia.

I am in a beautiful spot with my partner and our children for vacation and terrible things are happening back home. I am lucky to be in such beauty with people that I love even when the news that I read, the things that I know are happening break my heart and absolutely enrage me. It’s not so much what they are doing, although that could fill many buckets with bile, it’s the fact that there are people who voted for exactly this. None of it is a surprise and I’ve whittled my 2025 goals to do not lose my fucking mind. Which is why I will not debate anyone if his Nazi salute was really a Nazi solute or an expression of extreme enthusiasm. Consider greeting your boss with such enthusiasm on Monday and see what happens.

I am not a Mel Robbins devotee, for no good reason other my ears process her voice in an unpleasant way, but the combination of her “let them” battle cry and the inability to do anything but let them dismantle the country that I truly love has been a lot. And no, I don’t think that we should let them, but we all have to pick our battles. And right now mine are to focus on beauty, humor, art, books and writing.

A good friend is a Five Year Journal enthusiast. She told me that she likes reflecting back on previous years, and although I can see the appeal, of course, I decided not to start one this year. Because I am afraid of the grief and pain that I will encounter— that in a few years I will look back on my relatively banal entries from earlier and think that was before the loss, that was before the destruction, that was when I was happy.

And it’s not fair, because I have been happy for a very long time, I’ve had a charmed, lucky, fun life. I traveled a lot, I loved a lot, I read a lot. And I will continue to do so.

“Fuck that one cloud,” one member (identity protected) of our group said, addressing the one cloud blocking our otherwise perfect sunset viewing.

How’s that for humor writing?

What I am:

Reading

One of the gifts of tuning out the news interruptions during the day by turning off notifications is that I am reading more than ever. So far in January, I read eight books.

My top reads were:

Havoc by Christopher Bollen. Set in Egypt shortly after the Covid-19 pandemic, an octogenarian busybody-adjacent woman and a young kid square off. Dark, funny, I thought it was pretty much perfect.

Liars by Sarah Manguso. Artist, wife, mother. Can her marriage survive? Page turner, great writing.

The Favorites by Layne Fargo. Ice dancers/lovers/drama/suspense. Everyone is talking about it, I loved it on audio although I did do some eye rolling.

Watching

Laid on Peacock with Stephanie Hsu and Zosia Mamet was my favorite show this year, so far. The premise is that Ruby (Hsu) realizes that the people she has had sex with are starting to die in the order that she slept with them! Suspense! Humor! So good with a fantastic (not going to spoil it) guest star.

Buying

Candle warmer lamp— I asked for it as a holiday gift after I spotted it at my daughter’s apartment. It warms the candle, so you do not have to light the candle, but you can still smell it. I don’t like having lit candles because I have a cat and worry that she could be the next Mrs. O’Leary’s cow. This candle warmer lamp is my favorite item and I immediately bought a second one, so that I can have one in the living room where I do most of my work/writing at home and one in the bedroom, where I do most of my sleeping.